03 January 2006

Ok. After finding my data cable, I was able to extract photos from my travels and experiences. Today, we are going to cover the Colt 45 taste test. (Incidentally, to use a friend's oft-use term, I accidentally typed 'teste'. Is that singular for 'testes'?)
For those of you who are completely out of touch with reality, Colt 45 is the so-called 'Finest of Malt Liquors'. Star Wars' Billy Dee Williams used to make the most wonderful, pimply ads for it.
Now, obviously, 'malt liquor' is usually associated with, well, the ghetto. You don't see wino's in the projects drinking Beck's Dark, or a Corona with a lime wedge in it. You see them with a Colt 45 in their hand, in a paper sack most often. In short, a honky with a 'fo-five' in his hand is usually someone who has a ghetto identity problem, like Eminem.
After a good friend of mine rewarded my giving him a bottle of Jameson's Irish Whiskey by bringing me a quart bottle of King Cobra, I had as of last week decided to conduct a taste test of mysterious Ghetto Ambrosia, Colt 45. On to the good stuff:

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This is the test subject, along with the testing material. In this case, we have selected the Colt 45 24 ounce 'Two Four' can. Note the eager anticipation that the test subject is displaying.

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This is where the test began in earnest. The material container was unsealed and the subject, in a daring move of throwing scientific methodology to the wind, attempts a brash self-test of the material in question.



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Note:(The test report was interrupted by a moronic 3 year old who just tried to swallow a bottle of Compound-W wart remover. After assuring she was fine, the test subject proceeded to spank her with a belt for staining the leather sofa with that crap).

Anyway. As shown in the above photograph, the material being tested was not pleasant at all. It was like a mediocre beer if it were hot. The disgust did not stop there however, because another sip was taken...

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As shown in this image, the second attempt at testing also proved futile, as the material being tested was simply...butt.


So he just gave up and drank a corona instead. I miss King Cobra...



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laughing my @ off.

Damn, I had several coronas in my fridge. Thats what I really needed this morning.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant.

ElChulo said...

I decided, after much debate, that a beer in the morning is not bad. It's cereal. And if it's a little mushy, well, it's not a problem. Note I said a beer. The convincing is for me, however. *mumble mumble*