Ok. I spent a pair of days on the Redneck Riviera. I had a full room, full of people and full of...well...semi relaxation. No one pestering me asking me what we were going to do that day, no one handing me phones. I hate that sort of thing.

I fell into my kid's 'Sand Fork' he had constructed on the beach. Sand Fork being as in 'Fork Knox'. He had no clue how to pronounce it.

He really is a good kid. He gets so frustrated with himself sometimes that he shivers and cries. He asks me what to do and I try to help him. His brothers are no use and some of my friends pester him and put him aside when they come over, which really pisses me off more than they will ever realize. Yes, if you ask am I upset with you, when you treat any member of my family like that, I am.

But for right now, I love ya'll. So it's all good. But just know if you EVER act snotty, you'll hear from me. (and this can remain without useless comments on my comment page, if you don't mind. This is serious.)

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Now on to non-serious things of note:

My green chuck taylor allstars. My mother already hates them and that's something I strive for in life. *smirk*
(Imagine what she would have said had she seen the semi-mohawk I sported to town today when i went shopping for beads with the kids).

My wife also purchased me a t-shirt. It has a squirrel brandishing a baseball bat. It's standing in a defensive posture in front of a pile of peanuts. What does the caption say? "Protect your nuts."

Now WHERE the heck am I going to wear this shirt? I guess as a nice undershirt. Now the "I fart in your general direction" shirt is another story. I wore that to the store today, in fact.

I also did a science experiment last night, complete with photographs. See, I bought my best friend a can of Colt 45 the other day, and he, in his infinite snobbiness, refused it like a good ingrate (instead of taking it and throwing it away up the street as he left. He's got a lot to learn, poor guy. I've been force-fit into another culture and worldview, and flat-out refusing things is offensive to me now. Oh well. He and I enjoy cookie dough together and good beer so I'll forgive him).

ANYWAY...the experiment involved a Colt 45 taste test. The update is coming next week when i can get the pictures off my camera phone.

Also, i re-signed up for Ads on my site and they apparently were successful at plastering themselves on the front page. If you see them, PLEASE click them every time you come to my site. I get cash for this.

Thank you and God bless :p

Gonna go listen to Jimmy Cliff now.

My kid brought this home from school:

"My Gingerbread Fred Journal"

One day I met a GBMthat was called Fred. When I was hungry I started to eat his body parts. But then fred started to do stuff with my! body parts. Then I thu up. He formed back. Then me and fred went home.

The End

Hmm.

It would seem that the obnoxious pair was mixed up. I feel like an un-masked villian from Scooby Doo for some strange reason. Could it be my failure to see the obvious?

I thought sibling was someone else. And obnoxious REALLY sounded...well, like the obnoxious one we all love. But she wasn't he (or him? I dunno. Not eaten in 14 hours and I'm hungry).


You two crack me up. I don't feel as embittered now that I've giggled like a sissy today.

Ok, now you're going to get to hear me whine for just an ever-so-brief nanosecond.

When I had my second job, if I wanted something, I managed to get it within a month and a half. I paid my bills on time, and all was well in the world.

I am now 2.5 months behind on my mortgage, 3 months behind on my Dell account, and I may be lucky enough to get a PSP this time in April.

*sigh*

And I am expected to stay sane HOW?

Ok, so it's taken a little longer than a week. So deal.

Anyway, one of the things that really pissed me off about going out of the country was coming back in. No, we're not looking for terrorists. No, we're not keeping 'our borders secure'. All of that is political bullshit buzzwording. What we're doing is hiring bored, underpaid people to stand in a booth, ask if you are an american, and when you nod, you drive through.

That is, unless you get caught in a lane with a Hispanic-american person (aka chicano) running the booth and you happen to have someone of Hispanic origin in the car with you.

See, these people think they have a ton of stuff to prove. I don't get it. They're harder on everyone, including gringos. We went to a wedding one night in Texas, and it took an act of congress to get past the uber-bitch running the booth that evening. We stop, she asks where we're going all dressed up, I tell her, and in her disbelief, she goes 'wheres the present?' and opens the doors to the van without asking. I was at a point where I was about to say "If you'll hop in I'll take them a genuine 100% pet bitch for their wedding gift." Instead, all I muster is "I'm broke. My presence is enough for them. Here's an invitation sweetheart, wanna see it?" She goes through EVERYTHING with a fine toothed comb, even running a background check on the missus...something they NEVER do. When she finally came to the realization that she was bordering on being unethical due to our unusually long (and unfair) detention, she let us go without a word, just this bitchy finger motion.

At the wedding that night, everyone was getting there late. Half of them mentioned a 'bitch at the bridge'.

Grrrr.

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I wish i had heat in my car. I'm tired of wearing an alpaca fur beanie in the car every day. I look like a 5'10" toddler.