I think I have discovered quite possible the single most atrocious human being in Jones County.

I was in the drivethrough line at Taco Bell last night, and it was my turn to pull up. I'd been sitting for the better part of 15 minutes behind this phallic Hummer H2 that blocked the view of any and every maddafriggin thing on the horizon. The swat mobile finally gets to the window, gets their food, and drives off. Now it is my turn to get my food. I'm getting it, I pay, and I leave. Only...what's this? The hummer has not only NOT turned out of the drive-thru, it's stopped! And what else?? It's BACKING UP. It comes to a halt in front of me, blocking my passage! I'm STUCK and LOST is starting! ARGH. Anyway, the door opens, and I feel like so many characters in sci-fi movies where the UFO is opening for the first time. I was bathed in a mixture of noxious exhaust and white light eminating from the Hummership, and Ryan Adams music from my own car. And out comes this...short...blonde...thing, with a foofy little gap hat on and twinkly scarf and sweat pants. She walks up the sidewalk, past me, to the drive-thru window, and demands the Root Beer she hasn't been given. Could she DRIVE into the the DAMN PARKING LOT FOR THAT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's blocked in at least 12 cars for her Root Beer. I've always been a loudmouth around friends, but when it came to people like her I've traditionally kept my mouth shut. Not last night. I've got the flu, and the only show I watch on television was on. I rolled down my window and asked her why her bony ass couldn't have pulled around to the parking lot to ask for that drink. She ignored me, so then I tried plan B: The Buick horn. It's loud and nasty. And it also made her jump this retarded pixie jump that was hilarious. Had she fallen with the root beer I would have died and gone to heaven right on the spot. She finally left and I finally got home, but she was a real lesson in 'me-first'-ology.