When horseplay goes terribly wrong
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It's still a bit touchy around this house. Mrs. Gimp can't sleep very well and as a consequence, I don't sleep either. The bags under my eyes are quite voluminous these days, representing almost a complete month of 3-5 hours sleep a night, beginning in Mexico. The asthmatic choking spasms are claming down slowly but surely, and as long as I don't sit up in the night terrified my better half is dying, that's a plus.
You know, it's kind of funny that all of this transpires the month after she is officially insurance-less.
Yesterday, she informs me that she wants something to eat and that I needed to go to the store for her. I get in my car, put on my headphones, and start down the road. When I get there, a brief flashback of what it's like to trounce about in public completely oblivious to one's surroundings (thanks Petite Anglaise!) convinces me to leave the ipod in my pocket as I'm doing my shopping.
The shopping experience was much, much better to the Clash, Pink Grease, and Paul van Dyk. along with a generous smattering of the Sex Pistols. Normally I get to the point where I want to run out of the store screaming and pulling my hair out when there are that many people there, but somehow, I just ignored them, lost in my own personal world. No borderline panic attacks, no rudeness...nothing but the music, and the groceries...
Except now Walmart has stopped selling rueditas ... you know, the wheat chicharrones that you throw in hot oil. Here:
So I ended up having to go to one of the local Mexican markets, which is really hell on a weekend. I think everyone and their momma was there. Since everyone kills themselves working during the week, the weekend is the time to get out and do the typical lavar hablar comprar mandado mandar dinero pa'la casa thing, so everyone was there buying fajitas, pan, and of course sending money back home to the house. While I was in line I counted maybe 8 grand changing hands...about eight guys and each one sending between 800 and a thousand bucks home. That represents a lot of sweat and work...I hope they're doing something worthwhile. Most of the guys I know usually do...it's all about putting your little sister through private school, getting her a laptop and internet access at home, paying off your mom's huge hospital debt, or the classic building a house one friggin room at a time...the construction literally depends on homeboy's paycheck up here at the plant...when he sends a little more home, there goes another room, and then another and another, and before you know it there's a two story house to move into, with decent plumbing and fixtures...and when that's finished...time for dude to come home after saving up another few thousand to maybe open up a family business to ensure they don't ever have to go through the whole mojado thing ever again.What a tangent...
Anyway, I got the Duritos home, we heated up some oil, and fried the suckers. They expand to maybe 6 times their original size (about the size of a quarter)...and when they're done you arrange a nice pile on a plate, squeeze some lime juice on them, bathe liberally in hot sauce, and maybe a little crumbled fresco cheese, and there ya go...the best junk food money can buy. I LOVE these things. We ended up eating that for dinner since no one felt like cooking.
After watching A Very Long Engagement, I decided to go to bed. Somehow or another, a bit of rough-housing ensued between the missus and myself, she thought it was funny...and I thought it sucked. I went and locked myself in the bathroom, and when I cracked open the door to see what was happening, she sprays FEBREEZE into the partially opened door, not caring where it went. (In this case, my eyes)
I ran to the sink and desperately began pawing at my contacts to get them out of my eyes. "Clean Linen" smell and many tears later, I finally got them out, but now there is a major drawback. I hate to admit it, but I am one of those people who doesn't really take his contacts out like he should. So it hurts to put them back in...really, really bad. I have to wait a couple of days to let the eye gunk and protein fairies clear out before I put a new pair in. And now I can't find my glasses.
So I'm sitting here typing this blindly, squinting at the screen and hoping I didn't make any typo's.
Word to ya' moms.
10 comments:
I'm not cleaning out JACK SQWAAAT! Get some more febreeze and clean 'em out yourself.
I'm union, so therefore I don't have to work. Hooray for mock-socialism on a microeconomic scale!
Ow ow and ow. Your wife always plays rough. I had bruises for weeks after she attcked me with pinches. Jerk.
Also, don't go to Wal-Mart alone. Drag me out of the back room next time, I'll definitely go.
that is so funny...your wife is so cool.....hehehehe lol still laughing about the febreeze/pepper spray...why didn't i know about this sooner??!?!!? and the duritos..gosh...se me sale la baba...the hell with dieting and exercising :P
I dont want to be political or anything but....u know how people bitch about illegals taking their jobs and bad securing of the borders and crap....well they should be more worried about the amount of money that leaves the U.S. to Mexico and Latin America...yup those dollars exit the cycle (american economy) and its lost...but SSHHHH dont tell them that...
Ok...I'm going to give this board a small, pithy Political Science/economics lecture.
1. Illegal Immigration does not hurt the American Economy. Anyone who says so is ignorant. The top 1% of the tax brackets pay 53% of the taxes. Each immigrant paying, or not paying, taxes, whatever the case may be, is the equivalent to an eyedropper of water being dropped into the Atlantic Ocean. Our economy is so large and so vast and reliant on so many more factors other than $1000 dollar checks being spent at Wal Mart, that it's inconsequential, as I will later show.
2. The amount of money leaving the US returns. Many times over. Do you have any idea what our GDP is each year? As an economic hegemon, and being the center of all trade in a interdependent, global economy (i.e., there are no closed economies anymore and geo-economy is not bilateral as it was from roughly 1950-1991) our economy and way of life is not under attack. What you're saying is that since these people are sending money home, like millions of immigrants do each day, it's somehow detrimental to our economic structre. Not so. You see, economics goes beyond consumers going into a store and buying things, thereby creating a cycle. That's microeconomics. If you're thinking that a few checks from 11 million people each week causes anything more than a ripple on the surface, then it's time to do some more research.
Would you not say that American businesses are profiting by only having to pay migrant workers/immigrants fractions of what they'd pay an American? It's not a knock on immigrant workers, but they're paid an exponentially smaller amount of money than American workers demand. It's actually GOOD for the American local econmies to have, for lack of a better term, cheap labor. If they don't pay taxes, WHO CARES? Half of our tax dollars are misappropriated in deadend, bloated beaurocratic nonsense anyway. Besides, it's not like it's a new idea to not pay taxes.
This whole debate is absurd. For American workers to be upset about losing jobs, either a. Do your job better or b. put your job in perspective and take the pay you deserve and not what a labor union tells you you should receive. (C'mon...$48 an hour for garbagemen in certain parts of the country?)
Thank you, dear cuz for the awesome explanation. :)
Bout time someone who wasn't ignorant said something about that. All the HURR HURR HANNITY HURR HURR HURTING AMERICA HURR HURR crap I hear on a daily basis makes me dizzy.
gay people hurt the american economy. i can't for the life of me justify how, but i'm sure they do.
and to add to the discussion - if it weren't for the latino folk then the conglomerate "big tortilla" would go under thus crippling the economy and costing the american working thousands of jobs.
Smug Political guy:
What you're saying is that since these people are sending money home, like millions of immigrants do each day, it's somehow detrimental to our economic structre.
I never said that...I just said if they gonna bitch about something they might as well bitch about something that is valid, like the money that leaves the economy.... and not about how illegals take their jobs...which they dont...or how illegals get welfare...they dont u have to have SS# to do so...or how they need to militarize the borders...
God, u made it sound like I am against illegals...how u think my parents entered this country??!
well they should be more worried about the amount of money that leaves the U.S. to Mexico and Latin America...yup those dollars exit the cycle (american economy) and its lost...but SSHHHH dont tell them that...
To be more succint, no we shouldn't be worried about that.
C'est la Vie, meet my cousin, Smug Political Scientist. SPS, meet ClV.
You two make up exactly half of my 'favourite readers' club...so get along! :)
Just for you Chulo :P
Peace to ya Smug guy!!
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