Today wasn't good at all. Apart from Stinkyfartlady's constant hounding and following me, I had to put up with a 3PM lunch.

I go to Quizno's and successfully avoid a side trip to the liquor store for small individual bottles of Jaeger to go with my sub, and get back to the office. As I close the door to eat, my other office neighbour, Walker Texas Ranger comes in. Now, Walker is a thin, wiry old man with a Texas Ranger belt buckle. He has a crew cut and smokes Marlboro reds, and nonstop coughs like he does too. He always wears aviator shades and talks in this hoarse Hank Hill voice. He came in with his boots on, talks, leaves, comes back, talks more, leaves *thankfully*, loops right back around and comes in and keeps going, and goes on more and more and somehow gets on the subject of interracial marriage and how it upsets him so bad and how he is against it. I endure this with my lunch in hand for maybe 5 minutes, and finally he leaves. But then, he comes back and realizes he's messed up in my eyes, and starts these justifications about how it's not wrong, he just doesn't like it personally and he actually likes Mexicans more than white peopple blah blah blah *insert the standard "I have a LOT of (____insert minority colour____) friends!" cop-out*

He came in after that. Let me get on a tangent and say that this person is quite annoying because he'll talk for a few minutes, lean on your cubicle partition and blow I'm-a-short-crewcutted-moron-who-just-smoked-and-smell-my-"I'm in flavor country, biotch"-breath-while-I-act-like-a-retard then turn around and leave, only to keep talking outside your doorway and make a loop back in. Kind of like the old hags that walk in the mall but a lot closer to you and a hell of a lot more annoying. He comes back in and apologizes if "I was offended, but he just figures if he has it on his mind it's better to speak it." How this came up in conversation I don't even recall because I turned my ears off as soon as I heard his voice coming into my office. He said he loves Mexicans (In case any of my minority friends haven't dealt with hispanics before or the similar but at the same time different stereotypes they face, calling all hispanics Mexican is the same as the equally retarded "ya'll all look alike" gag) and don't understand why people in Texas would rather have their daughter "Marry a colored man instead of a Mexican."

Take in mind I am trying to eat my lunch as he's doing this, and I am surrounded by photos of my family and Mexico. He rubs his arm and says he may be darker than my wife "cos I ain't never seen yore wife", I said "Turn around and look at the entire wall behind you, moron." I then said "Oh, close the door when you leave. Thanks."

Classy.

Damian Marley in the background. The reggae beat is gently nodding me off to sleep although I should have been asleep long ago, but the pain meds are keeping me awake stilllllll. SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH.

I found my cousins on mypsace tonight...kinda freaky. We'll see if they add me as friends.

Nacho Libre=the bomb if you haven't seen it yet.


nothing to say...substantial update coming this weekend sometime.


Oh, Mexico trip coming this month...so more stories from drug dens, sex shops, army checkpoints, and spectacular car wrecks.

Hmm. Notice anyone odd in the local Hicktown, USA Police docket?

The Police Department reported 16 arrests and 106 charges.

— Brandon Lewis, WM, 07/13/79, xxx N. 17th Ave., forgery, controlled substance

— James Bond, WM, 02/06/72, xxx Highway 590, open container-first offense =====================================

So what do you do when you get pulled over and you're that guy?

Cop: Let me see some ID

guy: Bond, James Bond?


Hith parenth were THO ORIGINAL!

So, the verdict is in:

I won't have to have surgery. I have severe tendonitis and plus he threw out that common buzzword that freaks me out, 'myalgia'. Whatever.

It means I have to be extra easy with my hand when I work, but that it will heal on its own.

Needless to say, my pain medication has me awake and scratching at my back with a pair of scissors.

It was awful. AWFUL.

Imagine having a shock electrode placed on your FUNNYBONE, then being spazzed into submission, allthewhile having a nice, professional Egyptian-accented doctor telling you "I doonut wunt toe torrrturrre youuu" and then jabbing a needle into your elbow. Not any needle, mind you. A needle with a microphone plug attached to one end.

The shock part was the worst, I think. Jumping to and fro involuntarily.



And then, after all of this is done, the doctor telling you that "for an accurate reading, we must do the other arm as well." :-(

It's finally over, and I won't be operated on...(rest and more rest is in order, according to doc).

But jeez.

First off,

OpenOffice.org is friggin hot. (Sorry, Whyzeman heheh)
I forgot my Office 03 disc at work and downloaded it in desparation. It's the ENTIRE friggin office sweet in clone format, 80MB download, and plus it's FREE. God bless open source communities.


I am home again today. My appointment was finally scheduled for today...neurologist will do whatever monkey tests he's going to do on my arm, shocking electrodes and all. Will post later if I can be bothered.

Also, the Atlantic Rhythm and Blues 47-74 boxed set is IT man. Eight discs of the Stax/Atlantic merger era, including Aretha, Booker T and the MG's, Sam Cooke, Sam and Dave, etc.

Hot buttered sex.

http://www.godhatessweden.com/index.html

would someone care to explain that website to me?

If this is what the U.S. is represented by now, I side with the Dixie Chicks. I thought it was something funny from the satyrical LandoverBaptist website. But no...guys, this is serious. These are the morons that are picketing soldier funerals with "God hates fags" signs. Read the link about commentary on the Swedish royal family.


Jesus.

Oh, here's an interesting puzzle game: Save the children from sodomites:
http://www.godhatesfags.com/fags/fagsvskids.html

Lately I've found myself in the pharmacy with increasingly alarming frequency. No longer satisfied with being confined to the waiting area, I became bored and started perusing the aisles. I don't know what their problem is, but it seems like I couldn't focus on anything due to the skinny rooser-esque general store manager following me from aisle to aisle. On more than one occasion he asked me if I needed help finding something. The third time he asked me, I looked at him and repeated my previous answer from the first two occasions, only this time more forcefully:

"No, ass monk. I told you earlier, I am waiting for a prescription and I don't want or need your help, nor anyone elses'. When I do, I can find you. Until then, do me the favor of LEAVING ME ALONE."

I was crabby, what can I say. Poor guy. :-I

Well the other day I was looking at magazines. You know, pretending to be interested in what I'm looking at while ignoring Maxim beckoning at me tantalizingly from the top shelf. I ignored it and looked at the Crayola stuff. I came across a rather funny contest the Crayola company is holding. It's a contest to have a new color named after your home state. Check it:

Ok, well as some of you know, I hail from Mississippi. The first thing that came to my mind was what our official state color should be. I've run through it over and over, and I've finally decided Klan White is sufficiently tasteless. I am going to send it in and see what response (if any) I get from Crayola.

Or maybe 'suicide bomber red' should be Iraq's new color.






==============================
We went to Chili's at lunch, and I can't for the life of me ever manage to remember that when you order a drink there at lunch, you actually get TWO. I ordered some random carribean-themed puffter drink with orange juice, spiced rum, grenadine, peach schnapps, and voddie in it. And I ended up with not one, but two. It was fun going in the toy stop just now to walk some of that off.

I'm going to take a midafternoon snooze now under my desk.

==============================

Oh, by the way: Stinkyfart Lady is a grandma now. Gag. she passed out pink "It's a girl!" bubble gum cigars here at work the other day, and they are so weird I don't so much imagine the cigars being manufactured and purchased as i do actually being secreted by the woman.

You ever wonder why they expect people to donate to retarded people? I mean, I love helping charity causes when my financial capabilities permit, but I hold serious doubts about a camp that claims to allow blind children to ski. Have you thought about that? Wrap it around your brain. Blind kids skiing. The place in question was called SunShine Mountain, which sounds like an amusement park in the swamp somewhere.




"I just love being able to use my See n Say to solve complex problems such as the meaning of life, time travel, curing cancer or unstopping Jim Bob's septic tank on the travel trailer! Gimme money! More money!"




Also, I'm not sure how to wear this yet, but this is for you Alan:


Note the Columbia Sportswear (tm) shirt that goes nicely with the red and white pattern of my new keffiyeh. Somehow I ended up with a white prayer skullcap too, but no way I'm taking pictures in that. I almost had a cross burned in my yard by redneck neighbours for even being seen with the keffiyeh on. :p






More to come.

I've not been around lately, as if you couldn't notice. Things have been so hectic with my family and real life, I've had little time for anything else.

I have been playing Star Wars Galaxies again. That submarine was not a widowmaker. No sir, it wasn't. SWG is. It's the game you play and before you realise it you've been online for 8 hours straight and your eyes are crusty.




The world cup has been exciting to say the least. As long as Mexico, England, or the US win it, I'll be content.



I supposedly have all these pictures to put up for the day when I finally sit down and post an update, but guess what: they're at work on another pc. :-(


I have nothing to say really, but I figure if I force myself to come in here and put an update up, I'll start unleashing spastic, multi-update days here today or tomorrow.

Stay Tuned.

Blah blah. I am still hurting, the clinics and insurance messed up my appointments, and I am still gimped.

Strangely, it's not hurting as bad these last couple of days.

Didn't go to work and spent the morning relaxing. Guess I deserved it, since I took sis in law to work at 2 AM today.

Money situation is reportedly going to get better, but it's getting worse before that happens. I am a bad person for wanting my kids to enjoy a pizza on Friday nights I guess. That's the only real luxury I allowed myself this last week, but somehow still don't have enough to pay my house note. It will get better. It has too. Gotta.


I have some pretty weird pics I've snapped I need to put up this week. The only thing that comes to mind when I see them is WTF...

I'll be more regular in posting now, although I am prohibited from using my left hand for pretty much anything.


Right handed asswiping is hard.

Yep, the time has come: a visit to the neurologist on June 12.

Stupid nerve damage.

Sigh.

Here's a "Gimp's Spanish 101" lesson for you all today.

Note the camphone pic of my satellite radio:

There is a gross error here. The radio should say 'All year'. But instead it says 'All Anus', due to the blatant abscense of the tilde symbol (~).

Can you imagine a radio station based on the concept of 'All Anus, All the Time (tm)' ?

Scary.








Nephew's been sick down south. Typhoid.


Little bastard got a good chunk of my savings to heal him. Better not eat street food again.

I have had so much crap going i can't even begin to think of where to update. I have pictures i need to put up, stories to tell, but this arm won't let me. I am in the middle of a cluster headache, but two lortabs have numbed it to the point where instead of wishing for death, I merely wish to contemplate it in a room, face-to-face.

Money is a very serious problem, and i find myself making up excuse about 'important' errands i need to run during the lunch hour to avoid telling people "No, can't go because I'm broke."

Water Department claims i still owe $400 and will likely cut off the water very soon. My anniversary was last week, i wanted to get the wife tickets to see Ricardo Arjona in August but I'll be lucky to have $3 at the end of the month for a card. It'll be sold out anyway by the time i get cash. Yeah. Cash.

It won't be a problem soon, I took her off my health insurance, so it will be like a $500 a month raise. But when the hell will things level out?

sigh.

Arm has been too hurt to type.

Just a quick update -

Severe weather tonight. I am ok, but my folks took a hard hit that destroyed half their house.

Photos, bibles, guitars, furniture, the entire living room in essence.

Mom and dad weren't there tonight. Had they been, dad would have taken a beam through his head, since his easy chair was crushed and all under the weight of a longleaf pine and a house beam.

Jesus. Hurricane season hasn't even started yet.

We love you Whyze Man. Remember that.

Got a really interesting postcard in the mail recently from a good friend in Europe. I love seeing creepy royal families in full colour. Thanks Sev! :-)


========

The saga with my family is hilarious. I've got an uncle in rehab, a cousin snorting crystal meth, and the cousin just had a wreck. He was sent by ambulance to the hospital and got all pissy with the doctor or whatever and was sent to jail. This is a guy that has a degree from a nice college. Yet somehow he's wearing wifebeaters and has long hair. He's friggin living a Drive-by Truckers song now.

========

I saw a rattlesnake yesterday. A friend and I stopped and there was a conveniently-place stick on the ground near it. We used it to prod and harrass the viper until it scurried off. Before we could try and pick it up by the tail (damn you steve irwin!) it went into the S position. (Pronounce it "Oi! Naaaooo! Eeet's een thih ESSS piss-ishin!") Started rattling like the end was near.


So we left it alone and continued to listen to Manowar, whom I take very seriously as a band now. Any band with an album cover like what you see here must be taken extremely seriously. They are brothers of steel and constantly talk about stuff like Thor, thundering horses, and galloping into a victorious battle for metal. It's the greatest thing. EVER.










=============

I hate talking about me and health stuff, but I can't get my wrist to get well. I finally found a doctor that didn't herd me through an urgent care-type facility and actually stopped to talk to me for a few minutes. He figured out what's going on...

On top of the embryonic-stage carpal tunnel, I tore a friggin ligament in my wrist when I was working on that damned water heater. He told me it's just going to take a long time for it to heal. And as for the carpal tunnel, he scared me poopless with the description of a nerve coduction test and what it entails:

Nerve conduction test / NCS

The patient will be asked to lie on an examination table. Electrodes are placed on the skin over the nerve to be studied. These electrodes act as microphones to pick up any electrical signal that goes by them.

An electrical stimulator is then placed on the skin near the electrodes and is used to create an electrical current strong enough to fully stimulate the nerve.

A computer is used to record responses as various nerves are tested. This allows the physician to measure and calculate how fast the nerve is sending the impulses to the muscle and measure the size of the impulse.

EMG

The muscles are assessed by inserting a pin electrode into the muscle with the computer then recording the muscle response both at rest and with movement. The sensation is similar to that of being stuck by a pin as the electrode is inserted into the muscle. (That is if sensory awareness is not a problem.)

It is important for the patient to stay as calm as possible to reduce discomfort and to achieve accurate readings. (You may bring a pacifier or bottle to help soothe an infant).

Umm. Did you read that far? Needles? Pin electrode? We had a saying in high school when something was not no, but 'HELL NO'. It was to simply sing the word "NAAAAWWWWW". And in this case, I'm screaming it ad nauseam.

Manowar is like the greatest ever.

I leave you with the lyrics to "Thor":


Black clouds on the horizon
Great thunder and burning rain
His chariot pounding,
I heard the heavens scream his name

I watched as he shouted
To the giants that died that day
He hehd up his hammer high
And called to Odin for a sign
Thor the mighty, Thor the brave
Crush the infidels in your way
By your hammer let none be saved
Live to die on that final day
Gods, Monsters and Men
We'll die together in the end

God of thunder, god of rain
Earth shaker who feels no pain
The powerhead of the Universe
Now send your never ending curse

Swing your hammer to crack the sky
Lift your cape so that you might fly
Back to Odin and the Gods on High
And leave this mortal world



Hell. Yes.

I've had a lot I could write about, but just no time to do so.

I could start with a silent reminder of an old friend of mine who was deported three years ago today. He was late for work and was speeding to his place of employment and was eventually sent him. Four months later he was back here with us.

Or maybe how yesterday was the one year anniverary of my wife's wreck where the dumb cellphone bitch hit her from behind. TWICE.

Or perhaps that I've been 28 for over a week now officially. Feels odd and bad.

more tomorrow.

sigh